WHY IS THERE NO BLOOD ON MY PC?

You know, I’ve heard it said that good things come to those that wait. It’s one of those stock-phrases that people say when they’ve exhausted all statements with any meaning or logic, like “Every cloud has a silver lining” and “You never know, the doctor might be wrong, you could live another ten years.”

The fact of the matter is that all this waiting business is a provably untrue saying, because if that were the case I’d have gotten a lot of things I really wanted, purely by the merit of having sat around expecting them for absolutely ages. Power, wealth, women, and of course Bloodborne coming out on anything that’s not the PS4. God damn you Sony, you son of a bitch.

Let me be very clear here: I don’t own any of the next-gen consoles. Neither the Xbox One, the PS4 or the Wii U will ever make it into my home whilst I still live breathe. If I wanted to lose cash that fast I’d just go to a comic shop, or move into a district with a steak restaurant. So before you all tell me just to buy the sodding console, I’ll tell you that I have something better, and it’s called a PC. How do I know it’s better? Well, for one thing, the next-gen consoles are all trying to bridge the gap between themselves and PCs, so not only am I right, the consoles themselves agree with me.

Skeletons

I’m sorry, little ones. We’re not going to be on Steam in the foreseeable future.

But it’s bloody (ha ha) annoying, because I really want to play Bloodborne. Really, really want to play it. I love Dark Souls, as is well-documented at this point, and Bloodborne seems to be Dark Souls with guns and highwaymen’s coats. Sign me up, please.

A lot of people seem to be hoping that Bloodborne will be released on the PC later, because it seems to be well-suited to it and all the other Souls games have made the transition. And whilst I’d absolutely love it if the game was ported over, I really doubt it will be. I mean, it’s not impossible… Just depressingly implausible.

You see, I know there was a petition done online to ask for a port, and whilst I’m all in favour of that, it was aimed at the wrong people. Almost 50,000 signatures went straight to developers From Software, shrieking inanely for a computer version, but they’re not in control. It’s the publishers who need to be pleaded to, but there won’t be any luck there, because the publishers are Sony themselves.

Yes, Sony, who own the PS4 and would rather die than let a rival competitor get one single sale from a product that they had a hand in. Do you really think From Software care that much about the Playstation? Of course they don’t. They just make games, it wouldn’t have mattered to them whether it was for Sony, Microsoft, Nintendo, Cthuhlu or whoever, as long as they can sell their game, they’re happy. Fair enough.

But Sony have a lot invested in keeping ol’ Bloodborne on the Playstation. Ever since their failed investment in The Order: 1886, Sony have been looking for that perfect PS4 exclusive to really cement some sales. They have Uncharted 4, yes, but that’s not out yet, and only one person bought Knack, because he thought it was the album with “My Sharona” on it.

But Bloodborne is kicking ass when it comes to sales, having moved over a million units already, more than Sony expected. It’s a critical success and it’s also visually striking, making it an effective poster boy for the PS4.

Stab

I believe this is a fair summary of how PC gamers think From Software has treated them.

So why would Sony give permission to lend it to other platforms? Well, they wouldn’t. At least, not any time soon. Maybe when the sales die down it will consider selling the rights to the PC, but that won’t be for at least a year when all the PS4 sales have been exhausted, and it’s possible by that point that there might not be a high-enough demand for it.

Sony have said themselves that there’s no plans to release it on the PC and I believe them, though of course they would say that either way. Even if they’re going to send it to Windows and Mac, they don’t want to mention it in case we feel the need to have a brain aneurysm and buy their shit product before they do.

So we can’t expect a PC-friendly Bloodborne soon, and probably shouldn’t at all, much to my sorrow. But since the Steam Summer Sale is up now, I feel happy enough that I can deal with that. This War Of Mine? Yes, please. Hotline Miami? Oh, I’ll have one of those. Farming Simulator 2015? Erm… Maybe another time.

2 thoughts on “WHY IS THERE NO BLOOD ON MY PC?

  1. The one ray of hope in this story of Bloodborne potentially coming to PC is that Sony is a Japanese corporation, and PC gaming is about as prevalent in Japan as the Jedi religion, so it’s possible that Sony won’t consider the PC enough of a threat to their console to warrant withholding it. Optimistic, I know, but this is the country that birthed Konami, the poster child for clueless games companies, so anything could happen.

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    • It’s possible that they might think that way, and I really hope it’s the case… But I can’t quite see it. A video game publisher would have every member of the board slash their wrists before they’d risk losing a single penny to a rival. And whilst Konami is to gaming what a Creationist is to fossils, I think they have a very particular issue that’s less about stupidity, and more about not caring about their gaming work.

      Whereas Sony clearly cares about the PS4, at least financially, and I think they’ll resist any attempts to deprive it of profit, at least in the short term. I hope you’re right, though – everything I see about Bloodborne makes me want it more. Guess I’m going to have to pray to the Dark Lord Nyarlathotep again and hope he consents to help out with this one.

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